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I just accidentally discovered that I can do a MEAN Louis Armstrong… - Death drives a white Honda Civic
I just accidentally discovered that I can do a MEAN Louis Armstrong impression. It was in the midst of making fun of The Lovin' Spoonful's "What a Day For a Daydream," which I am forced to hear at work an average of five times a day, causing a progression from "Tolerable song that I wouldn't choose to listen to" to "Supremely Irritating Travesty." I particularly take issue with the second verse, where the singer coos, "What a day for a daydream/custom made for a daydreaming boy," which, holy christ, is either the HOKIEST thing that I ever did hear, OR a sign that this guy is The World's Biggest Narcissist. I prefer the latter; obviously this bozo thinks he can just waltz into a day store and special-order a day custom-fitted to his daydreaming personality, anyone else who might have work to do be damned! And the guy at the day store probably even tells him, "Well, we don't have all the parts in stock for that, so it'll be about 4-6 weeks." And Mr. Lovin' Spoonful probably hands him an extra grand to put a "rush" on it, and leaves the store whistling. WHAT A DICK.

And was this song really a hit in the late 60s? Where the worst thing you could be was a SQUARE? I mean, I bet "What a Day for a Daydream" was the first song after intermission of a Lovin' Spoonful concert; like, they ended their first set with "Summer in the City," and everyone goes wild, the curtain goes down, and then... a little bit later, it comes back up and The Lovin' Spoonful is dressed in red and white-striped suits and straw hats, and the singer is twirling a cane around as he sings. [There's probably an old guy with a banjo on his knee, and a couple unicycle-riders, too, for good measure] And the crowd, man, would they ever boo the living shit out of this spectacle, except that they all dropped acid during intermission, and now the cane twirling is making fascinating and beautiful trails.* OR, everyone thinks the song is hopelessly lame, BUT (and here's where Louis Armstrong comes in), due to the singer's gravelly-voice affectation, they all suspect that this may be an obscure Louis Armstrong cover, and boy should they ever not let on that they don't know this! Like, it was probably right after Louis Armstrong's Hot Fives, but just before his Hot Sevens--obviously The Lost Hot Six or something, right? Anyway, three cheers for The Lovin' Spoonful and their adept old-timey cover!

Oh, and the Louis Armstrong impression? You can totally do it too--it's not just the gravelly voice. I mean, it's MOSTLY the gravelly voice, but if you can manage to also make it sound unmistakably like you're smiling, as you're doing the gravelly voice, then BOOM. Plus, vibrato.

ANYWAY. So check this out: I am now totally living in Ballard [which is a "neighborhood" in Seattle] with Melissa, which has been nothing but awesome. Housewarming will ensue, as soon as we fix our weird furniture shortage; i.e. I coulda sworn we both own more furniture than this, but I guess we're both pretty much moving from studios into this here two-bedroom. [One bedroom for each! so we don't live in sin, right? BA-DUM CHING!] MAN, any Seattle people have any recommendations for furniture stores [other than Ikea] that aren't either A Sea of Trashy Recliners, or Land of $2,000 End Tables?

Hup! Time for work, and I haven't written enough to make a call-back to the Lovin' Spoonful. Oh, also:

* I just basically made a "[something] on acid" joke. Wah wah waaaaah.
21 comments or Leave a comment
quent From: quent Date: March 3rd, 2006 11:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Weirdly, as much as I've made fun of it in the past, I've been thinking of going to Stupid Prices. They seem to have furniture that's not too expensive and not too trashy either. Or at least, that's what I remember seeing when I didn't need furniture.
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 5th, 2006 05:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
MAN, that's a good idea! Also, "that's what I remember seeing when I didn't need furniture" = ooohhhh my god, I have all these vague memories of places that made me think "When I need furniture, HERE is where I should go," and... gone, all gone.

How's your new place coming along?
quent From: quent Date: March 6th, 2006 12:34 am (UTC) (Link)
it's going slowly. i kinda wish i was just moving out for the first time, because it's hard downsizing with all of the crap i've accumulated. but the place is nice. we should invite eachother over sometime.
zakarntson From: zakarntson Date: March 4th, 2006 12:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Congrats on the move-in! A shared place is the big relationship-tester-o-matic!!

And I have no recommendations. We got our couches at during a gigantic Bon sale. And our chairs? Still folding.

famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 5th, 2006 05:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Total tester-o-matic! And holy crap, aren't chairs ridiculously expensive? I might have to go with folding chairs too.
hillabird From: hillabird Date: March 4th, 2006 12:48 am (UTC) (Link)


First, congratulations on finding a place! Also...

#1 - I, too, absolutely DESPISE "What a Day For a Daydream"
#2 - Can't you guys wait until, say, August for a housewarming party? I mean, C & I will actually be there to help celebrate then...
#3 - If you ever find that perfect furniture store in Western Washington (aside from IKEA) please let us know - we'll have to purchase all new furniture upon our return.

Please say HI to Melissa for us!
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 5th, 2006 05:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Congrats!

Thanks Hillary! Melissa says hi too! It's really awesome that you guys are coming back! And you'll get to meet your nephew! CUTE!

Anyway, at the rate we're going with acquiring furniture, it might just be August by the time we have seating for more than, say, two people. Is there a statute of limitations on housewarming parties? Like, if it's May and we still haven't had one, is our house considered warmed just by, y'know, ourselves?

Whatever! In any event, I'm hoping that this place will work out for hosting get-togethers and such; take the pressure off Doug and Naomi a little bit! I mean, I know that Ballard is a ways away for some people, but... we'll make it worth everyone's while [that sounds ominous, weirdly]. Anyway! If we end up having a housewarming before ya'll get back, we'll just have to have another get-together when you're here!
counterfeitfake From: counterfeitfake Date: March 4th, 2006 12:55 am (UTC) (Link)
I actually think IKEA is pretty good if you don't buy the cheapest stuff there. WHAT DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SWEDES??
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 5th, 2006 05:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, Ikea is pretty good if you don't buy the cheapest stuff there. I just need other ideas, ya know? I do hate Swedes, though.
carebearc From: carebearc Date: March 4th, 2006 05:42 am (UTC) (Link)
welcome to ballard! it is nice here.
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 5th, 2006 05:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
I loooove Ballard. I've kinda just been ending up here lately anyway, so it makes sense to live here. Also, Matador has deeeelicious $4 Happy Hour items, including The Best Nachos Ever, the shortest of walks away. BOOYAH.
snowman From: snowman Date: March 4th, 2006 06:45 am (UTC) (Link)
Dude, what's a matta with Ikea? I like Ikea. Or, as I like to say, LIKEA.

Also, brilliant post. I called you tonight. Someday, we'll talk.
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 5th, 2006 05:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Duuuude! Nothing's wrong with IKEA; I just already know about it, so someone recommending it to me wouldn't help. Ya dig?

Also, oh my god. I called you back. We will never speak again, apparently. You should call me today, if you can. Except that later on, we're going out to dinner for my brother's uh, twenty-third birthday. Holy shit? I thought WE were 23. Is there a mistake? Obviously. Anyway, call me if ya can, and I promise to stop writing fragments and passing them off as sentences.
keepthepenny From: keepthepenny Date: March 4th, 2006 04:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yay! That's awesome.
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 5th, 2006 05:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Seeeriously! How ya doing, Laurie?
keepthepenny From: keepthepenny Date: March 6th, 2006 02:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, you know! The us*.

* pronounced "yoo-zh"
beastule From: beastule Date: March 4th, 2006 06:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Now I won't run into you guys at the Broadway QFC :[
But yay! for Ballard and cohabitation both!
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 5th, 2006 06:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh I know! Boo!

It actually feels like something's missing to walk to the grocery store and back and not get panhandled like twelve times. Haha, "panhandled."

e_dub From: e_dub Date: March 4th, 2006 07:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't know if this will be of much use, but there's a furniture store by my house in South Everett called Furniture Factory Outlet. It's on 19th Ave by Costco (you basically follow Bothell-Evt Hwy all the way in to South Everett). I've never been in there, but I may check it out when I finally move. There's also a Wendy's next door.....if all else fails, at least you could enjoy a delicious Frosty!
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 5th, 2006 06:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks Erin! We'll have to check it out one of these days when we're visiting my parents in Bothell.

Also, your icon is ridiculously cute!
From: fifth_beatle Date: May 10th, 2006 12:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hey Mark! This is Cory. Just wanted to give you my newly-created LJ account. How are things going?
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