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Last week, in order to create green-tinted drinks for St. Patrick's… - Death drives a white Honda Civic
Last week, in order to create green-tinted drinks for St. Patrick's Day, I bought a bottle of green Creme de Menthe. I think it's important to document this, because this is going to be the bottle of Creme de Menthe that I have on-hand FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. There is 750 mL of the stuff! What am I going to do with it but haul it out once a year and use a couple of ounces to turn everyone's otherwise-perfectly-good drinks green and minty? I mean, maybe I could get fancy and pour a teaspoon of it over a scoop of vanilla ice cream... and then realize what a mediocre dessert that is, and never do it again. Maybe add some to a cup of hot chocolate? And then drink a lot more hot chocolate? Maybe I could go insane, and use it as part of a lamb marinade! Yuck!

No, this bottle of Creme de Menthe and I are in it for the long haul! Man, I can just see myself now, packing it up for yet another move... Then years later, my kids find it and ask me what it is, and I tell them it's something I bought to turn drinks green. "Why wouldn't you just use a coloring laser?" they'd say, "Or... well, some kind of food coloring, anyway." I probably wouldn't remember why I didn't just use food coloring, but I can tell you right now that it's because I think it's more fun to try to arrive at a desired color by only using ingredients that affect the flavor of the drink, rather than, say, making a vodka tonic and putting food coloring in it. That's why when I temporarily invented* The Purple Rain, it was made of vodka, cranberry juice, and a little Blue Curacao. Oh, Blue Curacao: another bottle I'll have the rest of my life! Maybe this post will also document the moment I decided to just fucking use food coloring. Actually, Blue Curacao is much easier to get rid of. I'm just going to add a little bit of it to every drink I make until it's gone. It'll be my signature! "Does my whiskey look slightly blue?" you may ask me, if you're at my place. Yup! I added a little Blue Curacao to it. Bottoms up!

Obviously, I can't perform that technique with Creme de Menthe, so there it will remain in the liquor cabinet, like an hourglass marking my remaining days. Now I'm picturing a montage of Important Life Events; "Sunrise/Sunset" from Fiddler On the Roof is probably playing, and a bottle of Creme de Menthe fades in and out of the screen. Married! Mostly full bottle! Kids! 3/4 Full Bottle! Sunriiiiiise! Kids graduate High School! 2/3 Full! Kids graduate college! 1/2 Full! I finally make Senior Partner! 2/5 Full! Grandchildren happen! 1/4 Full! Suuunset! Retirement! 1/8 Full! And then finally there's only two ounces left, and Missy and I are reminiscing about the old days one night, and I find this old bottle of Creme de Menthe, and Missy says to me, "Have you ever just had that straight?" No, have you? "No." And we decide to pour each other shots, we drink them, and then... we pass away. Together! So sweet, everyone will cry. It'll be just like in The Notebook! Only mintier.
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famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 23rd, 2009 09:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, the asterisk! I always forget! Turns out that merely days after "inventing" that drink in order to have something to go with a viewing of Purple Rain, snowman discovers that exact drink with that exact name in a cocktail book. Mine did end up being slightly different, with soda water and, weirdly, cognac. The reason is because the original drink sucks. Don't make it!
quba From: quba Date: March 23rd, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Haha, this is the funniest post about Creme de Menthe I have ever read.
calamityjon From: calamityjon Date: March 23rd, 2009 10:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Eh, it's number three on my list.
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 24th, 2009 03:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Just to make the top five is quite an honor!
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 24th, 2009 03:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Awesome! Now you've also ensured that anyone looking for the "funniest post about Creme de Menthe" can simply use Google, and be brought right to this post!
counterfeitfake From: counterfeitfake Date: March 23rd, 2009 11:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Does my whiskey look slightly blue?"

GROSS, BAD, and thanks for reminding me to throw away my blue curacao when I get home.
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 24th, 2009 03:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
I know, right??

I couldn't bring myself to write "don't knock it till you've tried it.
counterfeitfake From: counterfeitfake Date: March 23rd, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was going to add that creme de menthe is in a Stinger which is surely up your alley, but then I read

When a recipe calls for creme de menthe, the white variant is usually the correct to use.

So yeah there is no hope.
famousmark From: famousmark Date: March 24th, 2009 03:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, I thought of that, too! Maybe I will just defiantly use the green creme de menthe I have, anyway. I'll call it a Green Hornet!
snowman From: snowman Date: April 1st, 2009 12:04 am (UTC) (Link)
This is why you need to write in your LiveJournal more often.
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